Thursday, March 31- On a Need to know Basis (also, countdown from 30)

It seems to me that far too often things happen here that I am not informed of, and they are things that really would be important for me to know. The last 48 hours have been full of surprises and not a one of them have been pleasant.   For example:

I have made a habit of walking to the view by myself almost every night.  After dinner the kids are all getting ready for bed or doing homework or chores and I am typically not tired right away.  The view (as we Americans seem to have dubbed it) is the edge of the orphanage property and overlooks a huge hill/ravine with a rushing river at the bottom.  Beyond the river are the beautiful mountains of Tiboli and the whole picture is breathtaking every time I see it.  It is my favorite place here and I go out there and get to speak English out loud to God and it’s always just an uplifting time.  Well two nights ago after dinner I hadn’t gone out there yet and I wasn’t really planning on it since I was spending time in the girls’ dorm which usually wears me out plenty.  When I left I was definitely tired and didn’t even think about going out there.  Well it turned out that was very good since Myra (one of the house parents) told me when I got downstairs that they had just found a cobra out there! And, she added, that they have lots of them that hide out by the function hall which is right behind where I sit.  I told her and Nanay that I go out there by myself all the time and they both asked why I would do that.  Well why wouldn’t you tell me about cobras?!  I knew they had snakes here because I’ve seen a number of them but they are definitely not cobras or any kind of threat.  I always look out for any creatures when I go out there, though it is very dark and I don’t have a flashlight.  I just feel like that would have been a good heads up to give me.

The next surprise was much harder to deal with.  With only half an hour before this happened, I was told that one of my sweetest little friends here, Anjilyn (who is in my facebook profile picture) was being discharged and was going home with her mother.  This is just a reality about this kind of orphanage that I am not sure I’d ever get used to; so many of these kids are here for “extended care” because their families simply could not afford to take care of them.  In Anjilyn’s case, she came here 2 years ago after her father passed away and her mother was not able to take care of her.  On one hand I am glad she gets to be with her mom again, but it is just so, so sad not to have her staring at me and laughing during each meal and to not get to walk her to school anymore.  It’s hard to leave these kids when it is time to go, but I think it’s worse to have had to watch her just walk away and to know I won’t see her again… until heaven.

Surprises are still not done!  Last night I was in Nanay’s house watching some ridiculous Filipino game show (they are as ridiculous if not more so than Mexican game shows) waiting for the remote to be given up so I could watch the news.  Mama Lyn came over and asked me to turn on the light behind the boys’ dorm since the switch is in my room.  I was getting up to leave and Herman and Jimboy came running into the house speaking Ilonggo very fast so I couldn’t make out a word.  I asked Mama Lyn what was going on and she just smiled and giggled which is her way of saying either “I am not allowed to tell you” or “I don’t know how to explain this in English.” I just ignored it and continued to the boys’ dorm, however when I got there I was told to stop and stay quiet.  Nanay came out of the hallway looking quite concerned and then came over to explain.  There are 4 or 5 houses on the orphanage property and either orphanage staff or Nanay’s kids live in them.  Though I don’t know whose house this was concerning, someone found someone in their house trying to steal from them.  The man ran, dropping the things that he had taken, however the security guard (who I have never seen) did not see him leave the property.  So in a nut shell there was some guy near my room and they couldn’t find him. That felt great.  I went back to Nanay’s house to wait it out.  A few minutes later Toto (house parent/Nanay’s son) came in to get a pistol.  Oh, yay!  Truthfully I have no idea what ended up happening with that.  I’d like to think they’d inform me of anything that I’d need to be aware of, but clearly that is not how things work here.

On a smaller scale of surprise, about an hour ago the Dole pineapple field next to us was sprayed with pesticides and the smell was crippling.  I had to get a mask from the storage room and then brushed my teeth and ate mentos just to try to get the smell and the taste out of me.

Well, here we are.  Guys, I have 30 days left!  It’s so crazy to realize I’ve been away for 2 months.  I love getting to be here, but I am so excited to see all of you again soon.  AND I am so excited to be only one month away from seeing my Australia family! EEK!!

This is dedicated to Natalie and Emily; only you two understand how crazy things are here… love you both! J

Wednesday, March 23- Breaking Point

If you keep up with my status updates on Facebook you know that today has been the WORST day by far since I arrived here.  The morning just started off on the wrong foot with me over sleeping (until 6:45am… yeah).  Then as I opened my suitcase to grab my medicine and vitamin before heading to breakfast I saw something that cracked my heart in two.  You see I wanted to be writing this blog about how wonderful my mother is and about how she sent me an amazing care package (which is still totally true) however, in my haste to get to bed last night since I had taken Tylenol PM, I forgot to zip up my suitcase.  I had a few books on top of it but that wasn’t enough.  The rat was able to smell the wonderful cookies my mom sent me and the two zip lock bags to protect them from ants were quite easy for him to nibble through.  (I’ve yet to tell or write this story without tears.) I saw the giant hole through the two bags and the wrapper which exposed about 6 (of 12) of the cookies half eaten.  I was in complete shock that it didn’t quite register what happened until I was about to walk away; when it hit me I just sat down and burst into tears.  Further inspection showed that the remaining cookies had been found by ants (if the thought of a rat being within 5 feet of them weren’t already enough to make them inedible). All day I’ve been so sad.  [OKAY! So WHILE I was just typing that I looked over and saw what I thought was a mouse in the corner, and as I have been standing ON the breaking point all day, just ran out of my room and called Mama Lynn who lives in the next room.  As soon as the boys heard what I said they came running.  They started moving stuff around and found not a mouse, but a small rat.  I started hearing the slaps of flip flops and high pitched squeaks and just sat down and started bawling.  I can only pretend not to be bothered by this for so long.  Considering where he was, there is a good chance he’d been in here all day long.  I don’t think I’ll be sleeping tonight.]  Well… trying to get back to where I was; I was going to mention that some of the boys (motivated by the 1000 pisos I promised) made some awesome rat traps and put them all around the top of my room where I see a large rat running every night.  They used some of the left over TimTams as bait and they are currently still set, awaiting their disgusting victim.  I’ve seen the big rat several times already tonight and am just expecting to hear a trap go off any time.  Oh my gosh, guys, tonight is awful.  I hate to just seem like a weak little girl, but you know what, I am.  I’m weak and I hate rats and I just want my mom.

Well the really terrible parts of today have over-shadowed the fact that today was KB’s graduation from kindergarten.  It was cute and I had planned a whole thing to write about how adorable they were in their white caps and gowns (which here they call togas) and about them dancing to Justin Beiber, but honestly, I’m spent and wouldn’t do the hilarity of the event justice.  Maybe later; I’ll add pictures below though.

The other thing that has made today hard is that Natalie left (well, yesterday) and so there is once again no one who can understand how I’m feeling.  The boys have been so sweet and instead of trying to torture me like they normally do when they find something that bothers you, they have been very helpful and as comforting as they can be.  Still, they don’t understand why losing some cookies would make me cry or why now I feel like I have a vendetta with all crawling things.  I just saw the rat again….

Okay, I can write no more tonight.  I have never missed home this much in my life.  Mom, I want you here right now.  Dad, I feel like this would all be much less scary if you were here.  Sarah, Abby and Liddy, if you guys were here I wouldn’t have to be the only one curled up in the corner. Ben, Jono, Joseph, Caleb and Josh, I need you here to add humor to this situation which I am desperately trying to find.  Plus Ben, I’ve seen you decapitate two snakes; you could handle this. I just want my family right now.

This is dedicated to Alizabeth Amaya.  I don’t know if the prayers of 4-year-olds are stronger than others, but I KNOW that you are praying for me, sweet girl, and I wanted to say thank you! I need those prayers tonight! Miss you (and ALL the Amaya’s).

PICTURES TOMORROW

Sunday, March 20- Twist and shout!

After church today we introduced the kids to Twister; I’m quite confident that this will be played again very soon.  But watch out all Americans who dare to challenge a Filipino to a round.  These tiny little people can twister for quite a while. Pictures below.

We are just about to eat dinner and then probably go to the night service at Surrallah Baptist Church, but Natalie and I may try to stay back because I doubt either of us could make it through another Ilonggo service.  Last night we did spa night with the girls which involved manicures and facials and the watching of Thumbelina (which, incidentally is one jacked up film).  It was great fun, but it had us up until almost midnight.  We are quite spent.  Again, pictures below.

This is dedicated to my sister, Abby. I can’t wait for you to get here this summer and have the rest of your life changed because of your experience. Miss you and love you huge!

Natalie, Angel (pulling a face) and me

Twister na gid!

Facials (Judy Ann)

Bekah, Marivel, Nat, Jennefer (Jessa in the back:)

 

Saturday, March 19- Let’s get some shoes (IMPORTANT NOTE AT END)

Well today was a blast.  Natalie and I got to surprise the 4^th year students with a trip to Marbel to buy new shoes for graduation.  Doting on these kids is what I love the most so we really had so much fun.  We got their shoes and then Natalie went to print some pictures while I stumbled into a book store (yay!).  I thought Hastings was bad at organization, but man was I wrong (well, no, they really are; but still).  This place was about 10 sq. ft. and was just stacked with books upon books in no specific order, with no rhyme or reason.  They had a ton of romance novels (bleh!) so they got their own wall and the also had just about every “______ for Dummies” book (including French Wines for Dummies, Pregnancy for Dummies and Politics for Dummies).  One of the most ironic books I found (but did not purchase) was Culture Shock: A Guide to the Customs and Traditions: Australia. Seriously? I’m surviving the Philippines and you want to warn me about Australia? Very cute.  I did pick up a couple books, perhaps to read but I’ll be leaving them here for the older kids.  I got Marley and Me, which I have wanted to read since I saw the movie, and a book by Gene Wilder that just looked interesting.  I also found another one of Francine Rivers’ books for Mama Lyn (she LOVED Redeeming Love, of course) and a book entitled Beautiful Boy written by an ex- New York Times journalist that goes through his heartbreak as he watches his son enter into an addiction to Crystal Meth.  I’ve had it suggested to me before and thought it was a random find.  I’ll probably read that one next.

After books and photos it was time for lunch; the kids had the choice of anything in the court and the all chose chicken and rice.  To be fair, it was fried chicken which they never get and they also got sodas, but still; It was a little amusing.  Natalie and I welcomed the change of Greenwich Lasagna and pizza.  Namit na gid!! After lunch I went with the guys and Natalie with the girls and we let them chose out one more item that they wanted, not necessarily needed.  The girls got rings and earrings and the boys got hats, shirts, belts and cologne.  I love getting to give something that seems so tiny and yet I know is rare for them.  I hope they had as good of a day as I had.

When leaving the mall I saw something that always breaks my heart.  Two tiny girls with bare feet and tattered, filthy clothes ran up to me and held out their hands.  I want to cry every time this happens.  I could never even begin to imagine what life is like for them; complete loneliness; utterly miserable as they silently beg for the opportunity to eat.  Or, like others I’ve seen, they are expected to get a certain amount throughout the day to bring back to their “guardians” and will be physically reprimanded if they don’t deliver.  I thought about the sports teams pouting and refusing to play until their millions of dollars are promised.  I thought of myself and my full belly and my place to stay and my loving family back home.  I don’t feel guilty about having a wonderful family or any of God’s blessings, but it absolutely rips my heart out that I can’t give these kids more than a few coins and booklet saying Jesus Loves Them, which they’ll probably never be able to read.  I wonder where they are right now and if they were even able to eat today.  These are the images that Americans need to see.  I know that not all of us are lost in the material world, but I’m sure the majority of us don’t think of these precious children’s reality even half as much as we think about our own “misfortunes.”  I know I don’t; but tonight I’m thinking about those girls and I’m praying that they are shown love—and that someday, somehow they find Jesus.  I’ve been struggling a lot lately with the “why do bad things happen to people who don’t deserve it” thing, and though I hear the answers and try to reckon with them, it just doesn’t seem to be enough.  Things are just so broken and I’m finally starting to understand what it really means to look forward to Christ’s return.  It’s always bothered me when people say “Come Quickly, Jesus” because I think of all of the things I want to do and see and be a part of before “the end.”  But when I see those girls every time I close my eyes or I watch the news and see governments massacring their own people or I think of the 4-year-old girls being shoved in a duffle bag and sold into the sex industry in India, I can’t help but beg the Lord to come back and fix this sick and broken world and to take these innocent children to a safe place.  I shudder to think of what the fates of these kids would be if they didn’t have Uncle Dick’s Home.  Oh how I wish all the lost and wandering children of this world could be in the safety of this home. 

This seems to be an appropriate time to move to my closing and very important note.  I mentioned a few weeks ago that there are seven 4^th year students who need funds to go to college next year.  The price per student per semester for tuition is Php10,000 or $200USD.  Already many of the kids are filled with doubt that the funds will come in and some of them are already being told to make arrangements to return to a family member if they can’t be supported (which is obviously not a stable or safe alternative or they would already be there).  I understand that financial times are difficult but this is an opportunity to not only help these intelligent and wonderful children get a better education and then a better career, but also to allow them to remain in the safety and the love-filled environment of UDH.   God blesses those who give what they have to help others.  James tells us that faith that doesn’t work itself out in love is dead, it’s nothing.  What good is it to say that we have faith and we have love and yet we do nothing when we see a need that we can meet?   Now maybe you don’t want the government to tell you where to spend your money but see that God has already given us instructions as to what to do with the money that He has given us.  I am not trying to guilt anyone into giving money, but I want to implore those of you who maybe just haven’t given much thought to giving to please pray, please think about it, please consider what you are able to give.  We are going to talk to Mr. Tebow about the possibility of sponsoring one of the kids so that you can get to know them more and strengthen them and support them spiritually and financially though college, but until then if you are able to give, PLEASE DON’T WAIT!  They need to have the funds in full by June for all the kids to be able to enroll.  These kids are precious and I believe completely that they are all going to be in school next year. 

Alright, well it is after midnight… noise starts in mere hours.

This is dedicated to Kate Miller.  One of the kids today was talking about a puma and was trying to imitate the sound; I recalled something about you talking about “their hooves” in theatre class and I started laughing! I love you and miss having you in my life. See you soon, babe!

A pic of our group at lunch.

Wednesday, March 16- Late Night and Goatspeak

Well it is about 10:45pm here in the Philippines (and my crazy brain immediately reminds me that this means it is 9:45am at home, 1:45am in Australia and 11:46pm in Japan) which is later than I’d normally be awake, however I forgot to shower before dinner which meant if I really wanted to accomplish that today I’d need to wait until after 9:00pm for more water to come in; I’d also need to add an extra half hour to that in order for me to sit in front of my fan so my hair could dry and I’d not be stuck falling asleep with freezing cold, wet hair.  Considering I’m still up, you see I felt it was worth the late night.

The last few days have been very fun.  Yesterday Natalie and I went up to the high school in the afternoon to play sports with the kids.  I ended up playing volleyball (with a soccer ball) for 2 and ½ hours.  I apparently haven’t played in a very long time because I am aching!  I have broken blood vessels all over my arms and bruises covering my hands.   Just walking the younger kids to school today was excruciating as they like to grab our hands and pull us along.  We were supposed to play again today but we got hit with a rainstorm and I was pretty relieved since I can’t even do much without my hands shaking.  I hope we can play tomorrow though and I’ll just have to push though the pain; that or join the crew playing basketball (although that wouldn’t be too successful).

Today I actually got to teach a little.  Richard, a fourth year student who intends to become a teacher, is sort of student teaching while the teacher spends a lot (ehem… ALL) of the day preparing something for the end of the year (seriously, NONE of our kids seem to have classes though they have to be at school).   Anyway, he told me he’d be teaching 2^nd year English and I asked if he wanted any help.  Natalie and I went and I was more intending to just observe and answer a few questions, but he ended up wanting a little more assistance.  So I got up and got to teach them about prepositions and prepositional phrases.   Luckily he was teaching one of the few classes I can easily grasp.  It was a lot of fun—though I STILL do not see a teaching career in my future (sorry to all of you who still think that about me:).  I really wanted to diagram sentences, but I don’t think they do that and that would’ve been a tad much with a language barrier still in place.  Side note though, I am getting better at Ilonggo.  I haven’t had a lesson with Jiji lately, but I am just forcing myself to use the language as much as I can and I make everyone correct me.  I won’t be fluent but I’ll bring a small chunk home with me.

I just finished a little series on the life of David in devotionals that was really great for me and hopefully for the kids too (major kudos to the Breakaway podcasts that helped me in putting the talks together).  But even if they did enjoy it, they liked today’s devotional better; Quiz time over the life of David with FunDip for correct answers.  They enjoy candy in these parts. J

Nat and I were sitting and chatting with Nanay and we got to talking about their financial struggles and where they needed money right now.  With graduation coming up in less than a month, there are some specific clothing requirements for the graduates, one being that they all need new black shoes.  Nanay was saying that that was just an added expense that they weren’t expected.  Immediately Natalie and I had the same idea, so we shared it with Nanay and got it approved.  So on Saturday we will surprise the fourth year students and take them to Marbel to spend the day hanging out and shopping for new shoes.  It is such a small expense for us and it is going to be such a fun day!  I can’t wait.  Plus, it is just so wonderful to be able to take a load off of Nanay’s mind.  I hope she continues to tell me where she has a need because I want to HELP! So many times they almost don’t want us to help because they see us as honored guests; but this is why I am here and this brings me joy (and hopefully them too!)

I am becoming quite the animal whisperer here.  I told you about the puppies (who by the way are named Ben, Bingley and Socks… Socks is my favorite) and they are just getting sweeter every day, however I have also picked up Goatspeak, the language of goats.  There is a goat that is tied up on the way to the Elementary school and we have ourselves a nice (and loud) chat every morning.  I must say, my sound is uncanny and clearly she (the goat, who I’m inclined to name Amanda for some reason) agrees.  This has been a very parenthetical paragraph.

Before closing I’d like to say that I am aware and annoyed by my previous (and undoubtedly future) typos, however I often don’t have time to proofread before posting and after posting it takes too long to return and edit.  This may have been unnecessary, but believe me, I will sleep better tonight having finally made note of this; my apologies.

Well, my hair is mostly dry. I’m exhausted. It’s quiet.  This is an unusual and pleasant atmosphere to go to sleep in.  I better take advantage of it before it changes.  To those wondering, we seem to not be affected by the current devastating weather conditions in Japan.  Nanay did come in tonight to tell all the kids that we’ll be doing earthquake drills and to remind them of what to do in case of a large earthquake (which is put your hands on your head, apparently).  We are living directly above a fault line so they are being cautious, even though we are far from Japan.  Thank you for the love and concern.

Love you all! Thank you for reading my late night ramblings!

This is dedicated to my grandmas.  Both of you! I am SO excited to see my Grandma Joan in 6 weeks (I’m half way done!) and my Grandma Gwen this summer. Love you both!!

A few random pics:

My arm after volleyball... ouch!!

Yes, that is a bat.

Some crafts we made with the kids :)

Sweet Bobby!

My puppies! (L-R Bingley, Ben, Socks)

Recent Happenings

Things have been pretty slow here lately.  The kids are deep into their last month of school spending much of their home time in study sessions.  Nanay is strict year round, but WAY more now that finals are going on.  I suppose it pays off considering many of the 4th year students are graduating in the top ten of their class (including Richard who is ranked #2).  I'm just looking forward to April when they are out of school and we can spend more time playing and hanging out and what not.
It is about 1:56pm right now and I'm expecting Natalie to arrive any minute.  I expected her more than an hour ago, but here being an hour late is right on time.  We'll be having a bon fire tonight with s'mores to welcome her back (for those of you who don't know, she stayed for three months before I got here.) I'm excited to meet her and more than anything to have a fellow English speaker around for a while.  She is only staying for 11 days but I'm sure they'll be great days.
I was very excited to get to watch some American news today.  The Filipino news gave me updates on Charlie Sheen and that was about it.  He got considerable airtime today too (whatever for... ignore him!) but it was good to catch up on some political things.  Once again, I'd like to go ahead and back Chris Christy for 2012. He needs to end this charade about not running. :)
Well that is all for now. I miss you all so very, very much.  Next week is the half way point! When I first got here that place seemed so very far away.  My heart still hurts as I think of being away for as long as I already have been, but hugs and smiles from sweet kids can chase those feelings away... for a while.  Luckily I also have a constant companion who will never leave me or forsake me and is going to finish the work he has begun.

Two dedications today.  One is Renee Garner.  I was thinking during dinner last night how much I missed doing worship team with you and right then we lost power.  It stayed pitch black for about an hour, but durning that time a sweet boy named Jestoni and I just sat around and sang worship songs and it was a very sweet time. I still look forward to singing with you again.

Next is Ben.  I got to text with you a little earlier and it really made me so happy. I miss you so much and think about you all the time.  You're a wonderful brother. Love you.

Sunday, March 6- Church, Funeral, Church and a little love for the Jayhawks!

Well I have just returned from my second church service (and third overall service) of the day which pretty much guarantees that I will be in some degree of pain for the remainder of the night.  I miss my church SO much.  And not just for the comfy pews and English services, although those are a big part of it.  But I miss the depth of the messages (kudos, dad) and the amazing worship times where you can just feel the Spirit being welcomed into our congregation.  More than anything I miss the overwhelming love I feel the moment I step inside the building.  The community of NBBC is so wonderful and loving and if you are a part of that I want to go ahead and say THANK YOU for the love and the fellowship that I have grown so accustomed to and that I miss so greatly.  I certainly get plenty of attention and "love" at the church here; but it's far from the same.  People fight over getting to shake my hand and stare at me as I sing as if I'm the only one singing (and sometime I am if the staring takes over their minds and the stop mid-word, mid-song, mouth agape.) At this point I just want to be like, "Guys, I've been here for 5 weeks.  Take a picture and move on."  I restrain myself however and go back to reading the Bible or journaling while Pastor Roy preaches very quietly and a litany of other things take place in the congregation.  People eat, sleep, check their kids for lice, draw, throw things at roosters (woot), talk, laugh etc.  It just doesn't feel reverent.  And the weird thing is that the few who are paying close attention never seem bothered at all by the ruckus occurring amongst them.  I don't even understand the service, yet I spend the better part of it shushing, hushing and telling kids to sit down.  I do enjoy the worship time, but you'd be hard pressed to find a time to sing that I'd not enjoy.  This one is difficult to participate in however because bless Jiji's heart, she is just not gifted with rhythm.  Her voice is pleasant enough and I can't imagine leading the congregation (of about 70) alone with just a microphone and a keyboardist.  She does her best and it is always earnest and beautiful, and her brother on the piano deserves props for switching tempos and spacing every time she does.  Jiji has asked, well informed me, that I'll sing sometime, but I really don't know how helpful that would be.  I make enough of a fuss by just sitting silently in the pew.  But if she persists, I can't say no to her.  She is by far my closest friend here and if you saw her, you'd understand how you could just never disappoint her.
As soon as the service ended I headed for the jeep bus thing as we all normally do, but before I took two steps out of the hut Jiji walked up next to me and said, "You may be surprised." I got a little scared at that because I am surprised a lot here and rarely have any warning.  I asked why she thought that and she replied, "I think you are not used to a funeral service here."  I didn't understand why she was telling me that and then I looked behind her and saw a station wagon pulling up with a coffin in the back of it and two semi-truck sized carts stacked with people park behind it.  I laughed and said, "Well, yeah, I'm surprised." I sometimes wonder why they don't just tell me things before they happen.  This was not sprung on them and I know this because after talking with Jiji a little more, I realize this is the same funeral that she told me was happening about 4 nights ago.  It turns out that funerals are a week long over here.  Yikes.  I know they've been meeting at Roy and Jiji's house so I guess this was the official service.  It was just as long and as far as I could tell a very similar topic to the first service.  We all stayed but cleared out of the hut to make room for the guest and sat at the back.  Seeing the sun was out and beating down I decided I get a prime position for tanning.  I spent the rest of the time sitting in my chair in the sun trying not to fall asleep.  That got easier when Jessa and Brindy came over to try and argue with me about the dangers of the sun and why I shouldn't try to get tanned.  Ugh, that garbage has made it over here, too! It was funny especially considering that this country runs completely on people who spend their lives in the sun.  When the service was done Tatay graciously suggested I go home with the elementary kids rather than go to the graveyard which could "take some time." I agreed and about ten high schoolers also jumped on the offer making our total number of people in the 15-seater van, 23.  (OH! I forgot... we got a flat tire on the way to church.  We didn't have the spare so they piled three speakers, a keyboard, all the wires and stands and Richard on to one motor-tryc and I got on the second with two other house parents, five high schoolers and baby Bob.  I don't even know what horrors happened after that.)
After we got home and ate I went to nap and instead read 172 pages of The Hunger Games (Ashlee-- GREAT suggestion).  Rain appeared suddenly and hammered down on the tin roof and when it is so loud I feel like I am losing my mind.  I just covered my ears with my pillow and read and didn't move for about four hours.  The only thing that made me put the book down was the dinner bell ringing more than an hour early.  When I got there they all said I was late and needed to eat fast so we could go to evening service.  Again... just tell me these things! :)

At our night service the kids performed "Thank You Father For Making Me, ME!" which I got to help them with this weekend.  It was very cute and I have a video that will not upload on this internet strength but I'll get a few pictures up because they were representing tonight. They all wanted to look uniform and the only shirts that they all had were of the KANSAS JAYHAWKS. A quick peak on facebook confirmed that they are once again pulling ahead in the March Madness world that I am so sad to miss out on.  Let's hope they do better than last year (when they lost me $10!) Rock, Chalk, JAYHAWK!

Well it is nearly 9:00pm and I am spent.  If you think of it please pray for the kids, especially the 4th year high school students.  The next two days they have all of their final exams and they have all been working so diligently.  ALSO, if you haven't read my blog regarding college fees for next year please do.  If you have read it please keep that option to give in your thoughts and prayers.  Many of these students are fighting for the very top positions in their class and they all deserve to continue their education.  It is a small price for us and would change a life, no doubt, over here.

Okay. That's all. Tata!

-Bekah

This is dedicated to the NBBC congregation. Love you all! I'll be home soon!!

Angel and Alvin!

Mary Lyn and Keyce

Our flat tire

The Funeral station wagon.

(Still)Saturday, March 05- All in my head

Perhaps because of extensive reading or perhaps just because of my genetic make-up, there seems to be an ongoing narrative that is constantly being written in my head.  Of course there are times when the voice is absent, but more often than not, especially lately, this novelization of my current situation seems to be in the making.  The bitter cold and silence of the shower seems to be the time when I can hear it most clearly.  As I have just finished this brutal activity and I need to stay stationed in front of my fan to dry my hair, allow me to share with you an excerpt of my cognitive novel.  I believe this is the opposite of writers’ block; simply being unable to stop the words from coming together in my mind.

                With music time finished and the children organizing their own play time, I glance at my watch to see how long I have before dinner time.  The digital numbers read out 2:21am.  I still haven’t adjusted the time to match this time zone and I don’t intend to.  Somehow I like feeling like part of me is still connected with home.  I add the two hours that are necessary for the conversion and change the am to pm:  4:21pm. This leaves me with nearly two hours before dinner and since today has been warmer than usual and I’ve spent a good deal of it working up a sweat I decide now is a perfect time to shower.  I always try to be as worn out as possible before braving the cold of the shower. I walk inside the boys’ dorm, my current and ironic residence, and after stopping briefly to greet the cute puppies napping in the warmth of the common area I precede to the first door on the left which proudly wears my name in several different places.  I unlock the door and enter my tiny cement throne room.  My glance darts to the wall above my bed as a pair of lizards scurry away, knowing they have no business in here when I’m home.  I gather up the several items that must accompany me to the CR (“comfort room”—more irony) in order for me to successfully complete this uncomfortable task.  Walking to the very end of the hallway where the CR is located, I peek inside the open doors to see some of my dorm mates sprawled out on their beds enjoying their little afternoon siesta. I get to the shower and lock myself in with the effective stool in front of the door maneuver.  This is really more just to indicate to any passersby that there is in fact someone occupying this shower.  As I start to place my shampoo, conditioner and other supplies around my feet my mind recalls my shower at home.  Amazingly, this shower is bigger however that in no way makes me keener on this one than mine.  I think of how warm and clean and relaxing my home shower is.  I start to feel the pangs of homesickness welling up so I brush the memory away and return to busying myself with the setup.  Preparing myself for the initial and most painful plunge, I hold my breath, tense my muscles and give the knob behind me a quick turn to the left. This is my routine at the beginning of every shower, however today it turns out to be a little unnecessary as the water is not as terribly cold as usual.  It’s by no means warm or even lukewarm, however it doesn’t in fact bite you when it makes contact and that is an improvement.  I still only leave it on for a few seconds so to not risk running out of water; I’ve yet to have this happen to me mid-shower and I’d very much like to keep it that way.  With my hair wet I begin lather in the shampoo.  I think that it’s been two or three days since I shaved my legs and considering tomorrow is Sunday and I’ll be wearing a skirt, I decide I need to that as well.  This adds yet another painful rinse to my regimented shower plan. Time to rinse out the shampoo.  Breath held and staring at the ceiling as the no pressure shower head leisurely runs the soap out of my hair, I see another lizard scaling the roof directly above my head.  Those stupid critters are everywhere! It continues on its merry way though and I return to the task at hand, getting the conditioner in my hair and moving on to shaving.  Pressing on the top of the bottle of shaving cream that Emily left me, I discover it is almost empty.  Before long I’ll be opening my last can and having two months left, I know it won’t last the duration of my trip.  I can certainly use body wash when my supply of shaving cream is gone, but I’ll still try to make it last as long as possible;  It’s just nicer and here you learn to hold dear those “nice” things.  I can hear that I am no longer alone in the CR and I have visual proof of it as well as soapy water begins to pour in from the front right corner of the shower making its way to the drain on the other side.  For reasons that I don’t know, the sink drains into a shower; just another reason that I do not remove my flip flops when showering.  As I finish one leg I bang my razor on the floor trying to empty some of the contents.  I wonder what the boys think I’m doing when they hear this.  Maybe they know and I’m not giving them enough credit, but very few of the girls here shave, none of them fellow orphans, and even if more did they have separate CRs.  I’m curious, but not enough to strike up a conversation about my showering with people whose language I know only simply words and phrases from.  Looking over my razor I see that it is starting to look blunt and rusty.  I’m going to try to hold off changing it for two more weeks until I make it to my half-way point.  I’ll replace it with my last blade then and that should take me to the end.  It will at least get me to Australia where I can get a new one if necessary. Oh, Australia.  I can’t think about that trip without feeling the excitement grow from my toes to my hair.  Seeing my lovely Grandma and my “farm family” has me pushing through the hardships here.  That is certainly going to be a sweet reward after this—however, I know that it will not outdo the joy I will experience in being reunited with my family and friends in Texas.  It is thoughts like this that I wish to dwell on as the freezing water finishes of this washing experience, but I know better than to let myself fly up to that euphoric place.  The thud of returning to reality is far too painful and unnecessary.  (This thought brings to mind a line from “Anne of Avonlea” and I begin quoting the entire scene in my head.  I shant recall that particular memory in full for the sakes of those reading.)  Happily turning off the water for the last time I nearly forget where I am and leave with shower with just my towel wrapped around me.  Though that would certainly make a funny story and something I’d have to email Emily about immediately, I give myself a quick reminder and begin to get dressed within the confines of the shower.  I won’t be totally dry for quite a while and it will most likely happen only after sitting in front of my fan for a good amount of time.  I normally pass this time by blogging, emailing or playing Spider Solitaire.  I’m excited to tell my dad how well I’m doing in that game using four decks.  I won my first four deck game as I sat in the San Antonio Airport now more than a month ago, waiting to leave for three and a half months away from home.  I called home and was able to share my excitement with him.  Once I return I’ll be a pro and we’ll form some kind of elite club where we exclude all non-four deck players from joining.  That, or he could just take me sky diving.  We planned that little escapade for my 18^th birthday and since this July will issue in my 21^st birthday, I’d say it’s high time we get up there.  Maybe he’ll surprise me; who knows? Thinking about my dad makes me miss home and I need to push away yet another thought tangent and remember where I am and why.  I remember that I haven’t had some time with just me an God today (except for the constant conversing I do in my head when I am not preoccupied concocting a bestselling autobiography)and I decide to get away and go to the view after I write a blog and dry my hair. Now what should I write about?

Alright, well if you ever had the crazy desire to know what goes on in this brain, well there it is.  I’m off to the view.

This is for Blythe.  Do you remember that story you wrote with the short guy and the rainy night and all that?  I really want to know how that ends! Also I love you!

Mini Book Review

Alright, I just (as in about 13 seconds ago) finished reading Between A Rock and A Hard Place which has been republished as 127 Hours Between A Rock and A Hard Place.  It is the book that the recently released (and totally awesome) movie 127 Hours is based on.  This autobiography of Aron Ralston, an experienced dare devil, is completely brilliant, inspiring and thrilling.  You’ll laugh, cry and cringe as he retells the horrors of being trapped by a boulder for six days and you’ll find yourself feeling every emotion vicariously that he did.  It is well written and simply beautiful.  I highly suggest this book AND the movie starring James Franco.  He is also simply beautiful. J

Next Book: The Hunger Games

Saturday, March 5- Washing clothes, KB and the Puppies

I just finished hand washing my clothes for about the eighth or ninth time since I’ve been here.  The only, ONLY good thing about doing this is that it makes me nails all clean and shiny.  But that is IT!  It is a chore I will certainly not regret leaving behind me when I return to the land of washing machines.  Today was better because I washed earlier when the younger boys were out there.  When the older boys are out there they stare at me confused by my method of washing and tell me I’m not doing it right and I’m not really getting my clothes clean.  This place really is upside-down; boys tell me how to do laundry.

So I have most likely already mentioned a boy by the name of KB.  His real name is Earl Xander, but the amount that he is yelled at, I believe everyone appreciates his shortened nickname.  KB is the youngest kid here except for Baby Bob and the new infant.  He is also the smallest; however he carries in him the strength of about two angry teenagers.  KB is a bully—plain and simple.  You can sit and watch as he will be minding his own business and then an idea will creep into his head and he’ll get up and find someone that he can unleash his newest plan on.  He’ll just walked up to someone and push them down and run away giggling.  All day long you can here, “KBEEEEEE!” coming from every person on the complex.  Today during washing he continued to try to steal Dondon’s soap and then run of every time I took a step towards him.  Discipline is not carried out here the way that I’d personally do it; because a few raps with a bamboo stick could do this kid a world of good.  I thought maybe it was the cuteness factor that spares him the rod, but after being here for about 24 hours I noticed that his cuteness totally disappeared.  I used to hear his laugh and say, “Op, here’s KB.”  No I hear and I think, “I know that giggle… Oh, right its Satan’s.”  He has certainly had his sweet moments and I try to hold on to those memories, but twice now I have had to physically restrain him for several minutes as he thrashed, twisted and kicked with a power I did not know a 6-year-old could possess while he lamented not getting to complete some act of annoyance or pure evil.  I have all the compassion for the kids here and I am only starting to understand the pain many of them go through when the leave or are deserted by their families; however KB has been here since he was only a few weeks old.  This is all he knows and I think the spare the rod routine has definitely spoiled this child—but it’s not too late to fix that! (My personal opinion…J)

Last little note: There are currently (I recently found out) sixteen dogs living here. SIXTEEN!  And not to be mean to any of God’s creation, but they are just the ugliest mutts you ever did see.  One of them is named Ugly Butt; do you see what I mean?  Well dog6 and dog17 or something had a little fun a while back and we now have three little puppies as well.  They weren’t very cute when they first crawled out from under the old train car, but they have since found some fuzziness and are in fact quite adorable.  How any combination of these dogs turned out to be in any way attractive I don’t know, and I’m sure these little guys will morph into old ugly mutts one day too, but for now I am enjoying having them leap and bound and crash all over the place.  I’ll add a few pictures below.

Well today is Saturday and I have recently been told that Saturday afternoons are open for me to teach the elementary kids songs or dances or other things that they can perform in church.  I’m starting to get a lot of information I really should have gotten on day one, but whatever.

This post is dedicated to Renee Garner who has taught me a number of easy to learn/easy to teach, wonderful worship songs that I’ll be pulling from while I’m here!  You are also someone whose life I aspire to emulate.  Thank you for being such a wonderful example of what a Godly woman is.

The lonely American and a birthday party.

This post will be short as I am quite exhausted and several large insects and chasing me into the protection of mosquito tent.
Today was my first full day without my sweet Emily.  It is so weird doing things and going places without her.  As white people over her we are ALWAYS stared at, but the kids normally aren't the ones doing that.  Lately though they've been staring at me and giggling waiting to see if I'm going to cry. Sweet, aren't they? :)

Tonight was Pastor Roy's birthday.  Roy is married to Jiji who is Nanay and Tatay's daughter and has been teaching me Ilonggo.  I had no idea that I was going to his party but right before dinner Gina (one of the bookeepers) came to my room and said, "Okay, let's go."  I rarely even ask what that means anymore and I just follow the leader.  It was a pretty fun night in the end.  I didn't really say much since all of the guests were from the church and do not speak much English.  I was able to say "ano ang pangalan mo" and "diin ang tsinelas mo" meaning what is your name and where are your slippers.  Deep conversation. 

Birthdays here are odd things.  Everyone started arriving and all started shaking Roy's hand and then he extended it to me even though I'd been standing next to him for ten minutes and we are, I'd say, pass the hand shaking stage.  However that is sort of the birthday salute here or something.  Then everyone had to say something about Roy-- including me.  The person calling on people to speak said, "and the lonely American!" These people are not the best at helping you through hard situations. :) Everyone before me spoke in Ilonggo so I had no idea what had been said past wishing good health and more children.  I muttered out a few words though and then went back to my silent corner until Jiji came over to talked to me.  The night ended pleasently though when Jiji brought out the fixings for s'mores.  Emily and I had a bonfire my first week here and Jiji fell in love with s'mores.  We have had 3 more since then and tonight she said, "Thank you for bringing s'mores to the Philippines." Mission accomplished. :)

This post is absolutely 100% dedicated to Emily White.  You are a wonderful, beautiful person and I have been blessed beyond words to have known you from a distance for four years and to have had you down the hall for a month.  The boys' dorm is not complete without you.  You are missed every minute and your pink palace awaits your inevitable return.  Safe travels, babe. I love you.
Some pictures of Em's last day below.

Sweet Angel. Sweet Emily.

A big bunch of us.

Mama Lynn and Emily.

Last late night hangout. Missing you, Em!

Sunday, February 27- Midnight bug encounters = screaming inside.

So I have stopped midway through cleaning my room to type this up, mostly because I'm a little shaken and need to slow my heart rate before getting back to work.  It's pretty late right now, about quarter to midnight and I am up because it is Emily's last night and I want to be able to be with her while she's awake especially since this night is not easy for her.  We will be leaving for the airport quite early and both are just resolved to not sleep very much. I will have a glorious naptime tomorrow. Anyway, so as I said I am cleaning my room right now.  My room is like all of the other rooms in the dorm, a cement block, except for my floor.  On top of the cement there is a weird pink plastic covering thing kind of like a table cloth.  I've always wondered why I have this but have never really thought too much of it. Well, tonight I discovered it's purpose.  I was straightening the corners out with my foot just trying to pin the cover flat to the floor when I realized there was a strange sort of surface underneath the cover; it did not match the flat concrete feel everywhere else in the room.  I curiously picked up the corner of the cover and before I could blink twice my wall was completely covered with hundreds and dare I say thousands of ants. Ants EVERYWHERE! Ants are never considered anything more than a nusance to me but I have literally never seen this many ants in one place before (and that includes the lemon tree at our Australia house!) I immediately reached behind me and grabbed my Filipino air freshener as I call it though it is more commonly called bug spray.  I turned back and let loose on the unearthed colony that was papering my wall.  I set a goal that I'd kill 100,000 ants before leaving since I kill about 20 each day before breakfast.  Well tonight I came significantly closer to meeting my goal.  After emptying a can of the not so sweet smelling poison on my wall, I decided to take another peek under the cover.  Thousands.  Running around looking like a country being evacuated with no organazation whatsoever.  I finished off the can I was using on the wall and then grabbed my other one which was already almost empty, but got every last drop out of it that I could.  I replaced the cover and just walked over the corner for the next few minutes hoping to crush any that the fumes had missed.

It is moments like this that make me think, "Bekah... what are you doing here?!"  Sleep deprivation is enough to mess with your emotions, but times like this can really push you over the edge.  I'm glad this happened while Emily is still here so I can share this horror with her, but after tomorrow she will be gone and I will be asking for your prayers more than ever.  It's wonderful getting to know the kids more and become closer with them, but frankly they cannot sympathize with so much that I would consider difficult or things that I struggle with.  They will be sweet and will listen if I chose to say something, but there is such a difference from actually having someone with you who completely understands and knows why something is so difficult.  I know it is times like this that I need to remember that Jesus knows me even more than Emily or the kids or any blog readers and that if I cling to Him he will carry me through.  Some of you may think me silly for needing someone to cling to after an encounter with ants-- but you didn't see it, so hush. :)

This post is dedicated to REPEL Insect Repellent. God bless you! (Any care packages that may be being sent could certainly contain more bug spray.  Looks like I'm fresh out. Scary.)

A roach just flew into my suitcase.  All in a day.