Caught in the middle and surrounded by heartbreak

"I want to be back in Australia!" "I just want to be in America, already!" "I miss the farm!" "I miss home!" "I need a hug." "I need a cup of tea." "I want to be out of here!!!"

Welcome to my thoughts.

I have left the beloved land down under; and I'm no closer to America.  I spent last night with my cousin Josh and his wife Collette and their four beautiful children (and hopefully there will be pictures below.) Joah and I got a bus at 4:45am to take us to the airport where we sat and waited for what seemed like 2 years, but was more like 2 hours and some change.  We were the only ones on this airport shuttle so I'm not sure why the middle of the night departure was so necessary.  Anyway, we weren't rushed.  Josh and his friend were off to Bali and I was Manila bound-- yet again. 

My flight out of Sydney was delayed by an hour or so which was fine with me because it was another hour in Australia and another hour not in Manila.  When I finally got on board I was seated in 66C next to a delightful Australian.  For the time that I was awake I talked to him and enjoyed the last lingering sounds of Australia.  I drugged myself but was mostly unsuccessful in getting any deep sleep.  All together I slept for about 3 hours.  Although I enjoyed taking to the Aussie next to me, he kept opening the window while I was trying to sleep which really threw me off  of trying to pretend it was American time/ the middle of the night.  I did look out the window as we were coming into the city though and I can say with a good deal of certainty that I have arrived in Manila for the last time.  I've learned  a lot about myself over the last 4 months; and I think I have done all I am called to in this country.  I guess that is one reason why it is so difficult to be back here.  This is a different experience that previous ones though.  When I arrived (with all my bags, thank you, Jesus!) I was met at the curb by Caesar and he informed me that CSM was full so I couldn't stay there.  He first suggested that I stay at the home of someone from his church and you can say anything you want about me, but I couldn't bear the thought of staying in a non-air conditioned block with people who I don't know and couldn't communicate with.  After the emotional mess I am due to leaving my Aussie family, I would have totally broken down in that environment.  I asked if he could just take me to a hotel nearby and after going down several alleys we arrived a little motel in an area that did not make me feel comfortable at all.  I told Caesar I wouldn't feel safe there alone and when he looked around at the people standing outside he agreed with me.  We ended up at the City Garden Suites and it's quite nice and not too dear.  I'm sitting in my room now watching Law&Order and trying desperately to stay awake so that I can force myself back onto American time. 
I am so unbelievebly glad that I got to spend the last two weeks with my family in Australia.  This has been a blessing and an experience that I could never have imagined.  It's changed my thinking on a lot of things... and I can't wait to go back.
To my frinds and family in America-- I am so close! I'll be there so soon now, even though I still feel the huge barrier between us.  I am blessed to know you all.  I can't wait until I can hug everyone and it will set in that I'm finally home.

Princess Poppy and Me

Granny and the twins, Alice and Smith

I love walks with Coral...

Charli and Me

Satene (Teenie!) and Me

I love cows!

Oh..... cafe Dungog....:)

Smith and Alice having a chat

Me and my sweet cousin Rae

Wendy, Me and Rob

Rob's coat of many colours.