Wednesday, April 13- It’s Arrested Development

I’ve told you about and shared pictures of the three puppies that were born shortly after my arrival.  As you may remember, I grew quite fond of the little mutts and named them all (though to the orphans they are all just called “Bekah’s puppies”).  Sadly they have lost much of their young cuteness and are looking more and more like their 12-breed parents every day.  Also, I haven’t seen one of them (Bingley) for about a week and that is just not a good sign.  However I digress from the actual subject I want to discuss.  I was enjoying seeing their different personalities emerge and started to think that they reminded me of some people.  I soon realized exactly who these people were:  The Bluth Brothers.  Now if you have had the misfortune to have never seen Arrested Development before, it is much less important that you read this than that you sign-up for Netflix and indulge in the complete series that can be seen there for free (you’re welcome, Netflix).  If you are in the privileged group of knowing and loving this show, you may find this humorous.

We’ll start with the youngest (Bluth Brother that is, I don’t know the age order of the puppies).  Ben, the puppy with tan hair and black ears, is Buster.  He is afraid of everything; truly everything.  He rarely leaves the small hut adjacent to the boys’ dorm where his mother Pam (Lucille, of course) also spends most of her time.  Now sometimes she does wander off, especially around meal times when she is normally sitting by my side hoping for (and usually receiving) scraps.  When Ben realizes she is gone, he runs to the comforts of another white dog that looks similar to Pam, but is not his mother (Lucille 2).  Much of Ben’s day is spent hunkering in corners, running from everyone and being tormented by his older brothers. Though he has certainly never been down to the river, I have no doubt that there would be a seal waiting for him if he indeed took the plunge.  I give you, Buster Bluth.

Then there is Gob (pronounced Job as in the Bible for those who are unfamiliar with the show).  Gob’s puppy doppelganger is Bingley (yes, the one who is missing).  Bingley is rather rambunctious and is considered a nuisance to most of the canine community.  He gets his kicks by scaring his brother, Ben and trying to entice his other brother to fight with him.   He makes more noise than the other two puppies but is really quite lazy.  Considering I haven’t seen him in a week, I should probably go see if anyone is missing a yacht.  Ladies and gentlemen: George Oscar Bluth, or Gob.

Finally we get to Michael who is personified (dogified) in our final puppy, Socks.  Socks is a fast learner and had spent most of his time observing his parents antics and perfecting them for his own use.  He normally beats his mother to my side at meal time now and has a much less annoying presence than she so I am more likely to feed him.  He seems embarrassed by his family and their promiscuous nature (this is his mothers second litter in about 6 months and there are different fathers) but he does his best to help them make positive changes.  Oddly, he doesn’t like bananas and he is more drawn to our campfires that Gob (who I guess is too busy trying to find the lighter fluid).  He is a hard worker, which however has made him much scrawnier than his siblings.  Still, he is the responsible one, so we have a Michael Bluth. 

I’m pretty sure I saw Pam (Lucille) getting a little more attention from the 3-legged dog (not making this crap up) than she cared for, so maybe we have a Lindsey or Tobias or Maeby or George Michael on the way. 

Can you believe I actually spend time doing stuff like this?

This is for Abby, since I didn't blog on your birthday! Happy birthday, daling! Miss you!! See you very soon.

Monday, April 11- An anniversary, I guess

Yet again a large Filipino event is planned and I’m given no warning.  Today was Nanay and Tatay’s 41^st anniversary.  A large gathering of people from their congregation were at the function hall with a feast prepared for dinner and I had no idea about it until I heard wedding music all the way over in my room.  Now had I known about this, it could have been really fun.  However, instead I was summoned to come and join the party (for which I was still unaware of the occasion) right after I had done Tae Bo AND realized that there was no water so I couldn’t shower.  Having not received any information on what was really going on I assumed it wasn’t a big deal and told the messenger that I’d be around shortly.  I put on an episode of Friends and sat in front of my fan hoping that I could escape the small gathering and just meet up with them for dinner.  About 10 minutes went by and then I heard Jestoni’s voice outside my window.  I opened it and he informed me that he was going to wait for me to come out and then escort me to the function hall.  I finally realized that I wasn’t going to get out of this.  I changed and put my hair back which did little to fix the problem of my appearance (and my feeling of total discomfort) and went with Jestoni.  Upon arriving I discovered that this was a much bigger deal that I had anticipated.  The whole place was decorated with white and red ribbons and balloons and people were seated all around.  A white satin aisle led to the edge of the view where the small pavilion was strewn with tulle, ribbons and Christmas lights.  The place looked quite fit for a wedding.  The music was, as is the Filipino tradition, blaring beyond any necessary volume and the Jiji took her place as the emcee with her voice pounding on top of the already crazy loud music.  I won’t go into much more detail as it is already quite late (I had to stay up and wait for the water to come in), but you can know the night went on with a ceremony and a whole lotta Ilonggo.  I’d share pictures with you, but as I was not informed of the event I was not able to arrange going into town to get batteries. The last thing I’ll mention about the night is something that happened and has happened at every event that I’ve been present for.  After the meal was beautifully set out and the ceremony was already underway, Jennifer and Indi (the cook) came out and started setting up a place setting for me at the head of the table, even though everything was buffet-style.  My same white plate and little glass and fancy napkin and shiny silverware were being set out while everyone else started passing around the stack of green plastic plates.  I can’t explain how awful this makes me feel.  I immediately got Jennifer’s attention and told her to just leave the stuff there and I’d take care of it.  She looked concerned and turned to Indi who both looked panicked like they had displeased me.  I got them both over and using as much Ilonggo as I could tried to explain to them that I don’t want to sit at the front of the room alone when everyone else is out in the chairs.  I feel like everyone looks at me and thinks that the plates they use and the food they eat isn’t good enough for me.  I hate this.  I wanted to just get up and run out of the hall.  I can’t win because if I tell Indi not to worry she thinks that I don’t appreciate how hard she works for me (and I really, really do), but if I go along with her entirely then I look like a spoiled princess and have dozens of people staring at me while I eat my fancy food on my fancy plate with my fancy silverware.   Even with me taking my setting back to my chair and eating there, half the room gawked at me mercilessly.  I don’t want to take away their hospitality because I know they love doing things for me but it makes things so much harder when I feel like a spectacle rather than someone who loves these kids and is here to help. 

Okay, now I really need to go to bed.  Please pray for Angel.  She has been gone for a few days and I finally found out it is because she has a UTI.  She had one right before I arrived as well.  Pray for fast healing. 

I really, really love you all.  If you promise not to stare at me, I’ll be home in 32 days.  J

This is for all of the kids that I miss so terribly from NBBC.  So many of the children here remind me of you.  Just like you, they make everything worth it. Love you guys! (Especially Easley children, Amaya children, Sauer children and Boyd children since I think you are the once whose parents will see this.)

A comprehensive list of the things that I miss...

NOTE the title! This DOES NOT say "the people I miss" OR "the food I miss."  This list is for THINGS! Okay, just wanted to clarify.

And you can expect more lists in the future.  I am a chronic list maker, and with 17 days to go, I decided I'd give in to the urge.

Again... THINGS! (And these are in no particular order)

-Toilet seats
-Warm showers
-Dry sheets (not dryer sheets... but sheets in the condition of being dry)
-Washing Machines
-Dryers
-The ability to walk around barefoot, safely
-The Office
-Soft pews at church
-Driving
-Lauren Bain's laugh
-Sonic (not the food, but the actual establishment and it's active role in many of my friendships)
-My bed
-Carpet
-Walls that go all the way to ceiling
-Unlimited cell phone service
-Any cell phone service
-High heels
-HEB
-Tea (hot!)
-The look on Ariana Easley's face when I say something outrageous
-TimTams (sob)
-The radio (in English, of course)
-Not having to plan for 5 minutes what I need to take with me to the bathroom
-Vacuum cleaners
-Couches
-Powerful worship services
-My hottub
-Meghann Sauer's hug
-House MD
-Watching airplanes (family, it has been too long since we've done this!)
-Being able to call Blythe 10 times a day if necessary
-"That's what she said" (oh yes, I miss it)
-Quoting things with Jono, Ben and Kevin
-Red Eye
-Not having to use a converter to plug things in
-My Bible study
-The Sherlock Holmes theme music
-Hearing my dad play the piano
-Every single thing that Joshua ever does
-Going to the movies
-Listening to Rush Limbaugh
-Watching Planet Earth with Josh and Caleb
-Saturday morning breakfasts
-Texting
-Still being in awe after 7 years how early summer starts in Texas
-Freddy's dates with Janey
-Getting my hair cut
-My mom's beautiful face
-The smell of coffee brewing and the expectation of getting to drink it
-Trash cans!
-Every Friends season except for 6 (thanks, Mom!:)
-A bath (which for me includes a book, a drink and music)
-Ben and my "meal"
-Andy Easley trying to pretend I annoy him
-The College Group
-No need for mosquito nets
-The absence of rats from my life
-Being able to download Breakaway podcasts in 20 minutes (opposed to 6 hours)
-Noticing that no one is home and immediately singing very loudly
-Refrigerators that don't smell like (and are not full of) old fruit
-Texas
-Driving places with Becca
-The size of the potatoes at Jason's Deli
-Not having people stare at me... 24/7
-Sharing political humor with Andrew Bain
-Dancing
-The Kids Zone (which I'll never be able to see again in my life... sad day.)
-My wonderful, amazing, loving, crazy family (the actual institution of family; not the individual people so to keep with the flow of the list, however they are all truly missed.)


There is of course more... but I need to figure out what to take to the bathroom with me. Excuse me.

Thursday, April 7- We had joy, we had fun; but there are brats in every country

Well yesterday I got to take the first and second year students to Southside, a swimming resort.  Now it really never occurred to me (although it should have) that some of the kids may not know how to swim.  I found out upon arriving that for most of them, this was the first time in a swimming pool.  The boys were all fine swimmers, so I assume they learned in a river, but only one of the girls was at all confident in the water.  Thankfully, they all had a really great time and were able to still enjoy swimming since the water never got deeper than 5 ft.  

Although the day was really fun, especially for me since I’ve wanted to go swimming ever since I got here, there were two little things that made the day a bit of a drag at times; their names are Amy and Sam.  Sam is the 3-year-old son of Jiji (who was there with us) and Amy is 2-years-old and is Indi’s daughter (Jiji’s sister who was not there).  These two kids are adored by all around here and are both very cute; frankly though, they’re spoiled brats.  I am amazed that they can managed to be so spoiled and parented so poorly when they are living on the same property of 30+ orphans who are all (well, almost all) so well behaved and far from spoiled.  Amy, once again is 2, and weighs 25 kilos (that is about 55 pounds.)  She’s 2!  Her parents’ brand of spoiling has turned more into child abuse since frankly it is not her fault that she is overweight.  She cries for even a moment (or SCREAMS) and is given something to eat.  Her mom always says things like, “It is hard to stop Amy from eating.”  Um, NO! She’s two!! Stop handing her food!! I never see her without food in her hands.  She also still takes a bottle and wets herself every day when she naps on the floor.  Then there is Sam.  He is adorable and has the longest eyelashes I have ever seen.  Amazingly, he is more of a brat than even Amy is.  He has a shrill scream and he uses it often.  He throws amazing tantrums and I have never once seen him reprimanded.  The moment he starts crying he is comforted with hugs and kisses, even if the reason for his tears is that he was just told ‘no.’  He runs away from Jiji when she is calling him and she runs after him, but never punishes him.  With both of these children I have to bite my tongue and sit on my hands.  I am not a fan of parenting books most of the time, but even the most radical ones could have some great effects here, if they were even read.  I just want to find “Parenting for Dummies” and send it over.  This is harsh, but frankly, I care about these kids and I really hate seeing them raised poorly.  God works miracles though so maybe they’ll turn out alright. 

Okay, enjoy the pictures below. Love you all! 21 days!!

This post is for Ariana, Meghann, Renee and JaLynn. I got your package!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU a million times over. I love you all.

This is also dedicated to Blythe Meyer.  We really need to write “A Nanny’s Guide to Parenting.” Hahaha. Love you.

Amy

Lecio

Jessa, Grace, Bekah, Jennefer

WooHoo!!

Monday, April 4- Graduation!!

Today was the recognition ceremonies for grades 1-6 and the high school graduation.  Today was also the hottest day we’ve had since I’ve arrived; those of you who have been here know that the combination of these two things are definitely not ideal.  

Filipinos are nothing if not COMPLETELY formal when it comes to events like the previously documented prom experience and today’s graduation.  The chairs may be plastic, the floor may be dirt and the colors may not match, but there will not be one word unspoken or one traditional element left out that they believe is necessary to have a successful and FORMAL event. 

The ceremony started out with the students and their parents “marching” in together.  Now you may recall that I am at an orphanage, so the whole parent situation had to be remedied by the staff.  Apparently they did not actually count how many staff needed to attend, so I became a parent.  I even got a ribbon that said ‘PARENT’ (that is some of the ‘formal’ stuff I’m talking about).  After we marched in I sat down next to Tatay where I stayed for the next 2 hours.  Other odd ceremonial things took place like the Girl Scouts presenting the colors and a very emphatic, good ‘ole catholic prayer.  The TIC (teacher in charge) and some guy from the district got up there and one presented to the other “39 girls and 45 boys for a total of 84 students eligible for graduation from Lamsugod National High School” and the other accepted “39 girls and 45 boys for a total of 84 students eligible for graduation from Lamsugod National High School.”  Later they found some reason to repeat that phrase 2 more times.  As opposed to American graduations, the graduates walked the stage and got their diplomas and moved their tassels close to the beginning of the ceremony, before all of the speeches and special awards.  The students, when their name was called, made their way across the stage to accept their diploma, shake some hands and then had to go to the front and center of the stage and hold their little diplomas (scrolls) and bow to the crowd.  Again, somehow this sort of formality is seen as necessary.  Anyway, then the special awards were given out and of the top ten students, the 3^rd, 6^th, 8^th and 10^th honors where given to graduates from Uncle Dick’s Home; this is a sharp bunch of kids that just graduated.  Richard (3^rd) was also given 7 other medals for various honors.  Last week when they had a separate ceremony honoring all of the high school students I was one of the “imposers” of the ribbons and medals.  I can’t for the life of me understand why this word is used in this manner, but whenever they announced an award recipient they would say, “His/her medal will be imposed by his/her mother/father/uncle etc.”  It gives the idea that the students are trying to reject their awards.  Anyway, so I just went up with Richard and Romie and put a medal around their necks.  However, I flat out refused to do this for the graduation.  When we were alphabetically about five students away from one of our students, Gina (the bookkeeper) turned around and said, “You will be the one…” and I cut her off with a firm, “hindi!”, (no).  I know when they are trying to get me to do something that I really shouldn’t be when they start with, “You will be the one.”  Plus, it was just silly because the lady reading the names and imposers already had one of the staff listed to “be the one.”  When they make me do these things ALL of the attention and whatever else is put on me and not only am I tired of always being stared at, but this day was also to honor these kids and I refuse to take any of that away from them.   I really hate that they always try to treat me like some honored guest.   At last week’s ceremony they had a meal afterwards (full of nothing I can/want to eat) and the TIC kicked someone out of their chair at the teachers table to have me come and sit there, away from the only people that I knew.  I also refused that and let the poor man have his seat back.  It’s just exhausting!  Every time I wander into the kitchen I immediately have two or more people asking what they can do for me or what I need or what I’m looking for.  I just want to scream, “RELAX!”  I have been here for two months; I know where the peanut butter is. 

Anyway, back to the graduation.  After the awards the Valedictorian and the Salutatorian gave their speeches, both in Ilonggo and both of the girls ending up in tears.  Richard then got up and led the school in an “Oath to the Alma Mater.”  He finished and the guest speaker was introduced.  Being a guest speaker is apparently a huge honor in this country.  She graduated college in 1982 and yet they felt compelled to tell us that she graduated elementary school with honors.  Not to bash that, but KB graduated kindergarten with honors a few weeks ago and he cannot read a single word; just putting that in perspective.  So anyway she got up and was apparently not too inspirational or moving because few people were paying any attention; that is really a cultural thing though.  However, and they did this with the guest speaker from prom as well, as soon as she was done speaking (and she was also crying) they presented her with (and read aloud the full contents of) a certificate of honor for being their guest speaker.  It’s just odd.

The event came to a close and after a little schmoozing and socializing we walked home.  I was a complete mess upon arriving home, as it was ridiculously hot and humid, and we was welcomed with a brown out  which meant my fan had no power and there was no water. 

So, that was today.  The 4^th year students have a vacation to visit family and will be back in a few days.  Stay tuned—more fun events to come!

This is dedicated to Joseph (you get a lot of these).  This ceremony actually made me excited about attending your air conditioned graduation soon after I get home.

Brindy

Richard

Sunday, April 3- Singing the Sunday Blues… and Filipino honesty

Sundays are by far the hardest days here for me to choose joy.  It seems that I always have a very short fuse on Sundays and that anything makes me want to snap!  At home, I love Sundays.  Mornings are hectic but it doesn’t matter.  I love my church and I love getting to worship with a wonderful congregation and some very talented musicians.  I almost dread going to church here.  First off, I always seem to be more tired on Sunday mornings and after breakfast I just want to go back to sleep.  Instead though I go get ready for church, and sometimes it’s nice.  I like the change of wardrobe when I actually dress up a little and it’s normally nice to have a change of pace.  However, this is one that just gets me down.  Driving to church is a headache… and a back ache.  The jeep we take has wooden seats and metal rungs on the back and the bumpy terrain that accompanies us to Amazing Grace Baptist church does not go well with these two elements.  Upon arriving there are a few different Sunday school classes and I go with the high school/college class which is located in the “sanctuary”.  We are welcomed again with wooden seat and dirt floor.  The class starts with our heavy set (one of the few in the Philippines) teacher who is very nice and energetic and who speaks in Ilonggo for a solid hour.  I normally have a row to myself and I just read a book of the Bible while he talks (today it was Daniel).  After an hour I have a few minutes to stretch and I mean that literally.  Sitting on that hard surface for that long really gets my sciatic nerve hurting (which I believe is pinched again) and my lower back in agony.  I straight up start doing Pilates in the aisle.  The classes begin to merge then and my once empty row gets filled with kids, normally Jaypee, KB, Carlos, Alvin and Melody.  This is another oddity about Sundays; any other day, I love being with these kids and letting them sit on me and joke around, but Sundays I really just feel warn out.  The boys have one or two little “jokes” (like looking to see where my eyes are reading in my Bible and putting their hand over that part) which were funny the first time they did it—2 months ago—but now just make me want to flick them!  Things only get more aggravating when the service starts.  We stand up, we sit down, we stand up, we sit down, and we stand u…oh wait sit down, NO! Stand up!  Ahh! They’re Baptist, not Catholic!  Gina (who works at the orphanage) gets up and makes a few announcements (like how many people are here and how much our offering from the first hour was) and then asks if there are any birthdays for the next week.  We sing happy birthday every week—it is strange.  Then we have what our church would label our “meet and greet” time, but here we sing a song as we walk around and shake hands.  The lyrics are “I love the thrill that I feel when I get together with God’s wonderful people”, however the Filipino accents turn it into “I lub da trill dat I pill when I get togeder wid…”  Again, I know this stuff shouldn’t bother me, but there is that short fuse I mentioned.  After this is the worship time which sadly is the hardest part.  A lot of the songs are great and I want to just sing them and enjoy worshipping the Lord, but the unexpected tempo and phrasing changes and the singer’s voice fighting to control the pianist even though he actually has it right just causes me grief.   Plus the boys don’t care much for this part and they are usually throwing paper airplanes at me or trying to play with my hair.  I had two different kids on either side of me today tugging at my head so violently that I (did not scream) had to firmly tell them no more playing with the hair.  Then the sermon starts and it’s another hour of sitting and not understanding a word.  I try to read during this time but I spend most of it hushing people around me.  I say people because it’s not just the kids.  House parents and other adults making so much noise it’s ridiculous.  I always direct a hush to a child, but I really am hoping the others will follow.  I don’t care that I can’t understand the pastor, it’s just so rude! At the end I just can’t wait to leave.  It is Monday at least before the pain leaves my butt and back.

Filipinos are very honest people.  They don’t see anything rude in making comments that they believe to be true that an American would keep to his/herself.  I normally don’t mind that about them, but my self esteem could really benefit from them just keeping some things inside.  Almost daily someone will grab my leg and say, “Wow! So big!”  One of the college girls who didn’t remember me from last time told me yesterday that she actually did remember me.  She said she had forgotten because I was “much slimmer last time.”  When in Marbel I saw a dress that I thought was so cute and Jiji said, “Don’t even think about it.  You’d have to work out a whole lot more for that to fit you.”  Earlier tonight she was looking at pictures on my computer and saying, “Wow, look how slim you were!”  These are people who eat at least 6 cups of rice per day… you guys are blessed! Be happy and leave me be!

I am being bombarded with bugs from every direction right now which means my light is the last one on.  I have to go before I throw my computer at the gnat constantly trying to get in my eyeball. 

Tomorrow is graduation! It’s exciting but also sad.  Tomorrow is Alberto’s last day here as he will be returning to his parents (who were recently released from prison).  He has been one of my closest friends since getting here so that will be hard.  Then I also found out tonight that Marivel is leaving too.  I know her less and that is simply because she is shy, but I know she is a sweetheart and I’ll miss her dearly.  Please pray for both of these kids as I do not know the kinds of lives they are returning to.  Alberto is excited to be with his family again, but Marivel did not seem happy about leaving.  Pray that God will protect them and give them peace and comfort and boldness to share the love of Christ that they found here at UDH.

24 days! Crazy.

I miss you all and love you heaps.

Thursday, March 31- Bringing you the latest in really big bugs

Could you sleep after finding this in your room?